Overcoming Depression

DEPRESSION

Junette and her Holy Spirit filled friend Jean was praying for me, for my soul that is, I was committing Adultery, and although we were going to church and living a better Christian life I was not sin free and not born again. I strongly expect that what transpired next was not stress related at all but Heaven intervening, I was about to be refined by fire. at high temperature, I was truly blessed. I felt that He (God) should have said, “Are you ready for this Edward” I would have responded for what?

Things were going well when one day I felt my heart beating twice as fast as normal. I went to the doctor and said, "There's something wrong here." He told me that my blood pressure was fine but further tests revealed that I had diabetes. This turned out to be a clue that my body was under enormous stress.

One evening I was at my son Jonathan's football dinner when suddenly I felt this big black cloud come over me. I looked around the room, and I thought I was the lowest of the low. I thought that my business was going to fail and the bank was coming in next week. I wished I could have a job like everyone else. I didn't want to run any more companies. This was the start of my deep depression.

One day while I was visiting at my girl friend's' home, a strong conviction came over me and revealed my sin, saying, "Your sin is adultery." James 4:4, "Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever, therefore, will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." A voice of authority spoke inside of me and said, "You're living in sin. Change your lifestyle now. If not, you're going to die." God's presence was so real that I offered no resistance.

I left and did not return except on rare occasions to visit my girls.

I felt I was dying, that I was in a more life-threatening situation than I ever had been at any other time in my life. Even so, somehow, I was not being taken seriously. I felt like getting a big flag with the word, "HELP" on it and waving it around!

I went to a few churches and doctors but nobody knew anything about depression. Certainly, I couldn't understand it. I became so negative that my eldest son, Christopher, could not put up with to be around me. He could not tolerate me being negative with the same intensity that I had shown as a positive person.

My brother David and I had always been loyal to each other. However, even he found it extremely difficult to deal with my negativity, and I am sure that my condition caused him undue stress. He was in a competitive business and worked hard to keep ahead of his competition. When we were together, I contained in my true feelings and in order to spare him, I put on an act. It took a supreme effort to pretend that I was not as sick as I was. I appreciated that David was the only male human whom I could genuinely trust. I needed to be with him and craved his closeness. I wanted to rely on his business experience and advice. He was my one and only brother.

I was so overwhelmingly fatigued that I could sleep fourteen hours a day and still be tired. Fear and despair were my constant companions. My brain had problems controlling the rest of my body and like the dangerous current found in some of the seas around our beach house in Trinidad, an evil thought circulated constantly in my thoughts saying, "End it all, it all and you will have rest, rest, rest....”

As I have already said, my parents purchased the house next door to us and I maintained their home, my own, and the one I had bought for Pauline to raise my daughters. I was also running two businesses. It was no wonder. I burned myself out.

Stress was followed by depression, and eventually I decided to go and see a psychiatrist. I thought maybe there was something in my childhood that needed to be talked about. So there I was trying to explain all these things to the psychiatrist. I thought he'd come up with a quick solution.... that he'd be able to unlock some great secret in my past. But it doesn't work like that. The main function of a psychiatrist who is dealing with a depressed patient is to observe the way that patient feels. He watches for suicidal tendencies and prescribes medication to help you through a crisis. Healing can begin only when the cause is eliminated.

Finally the depression became so serious that I felt overwhelmingly suicidal. You have to remember this: when the mind suffers from an overload of stress or is put into a state of emergency, the brain sends messages, which cause our glands to secrete certain chemicals. These chemicals give a person extra power, extra energy. If the emergency or stress situation continues for too long a time, these "emergency situation chemicals" begin to seep into other brain cells and eventually the brain does damage to itself. A chemical imbalance has been created. If the situation remains unchanged for an extended period of time, healing could become impossible. The rule of thumb is, if a person has been depressed for a year, it will take a year for the depression to lift.

The body’s reaction to stress

The body’s response to stress is initiated by any situation that creates a state of alarm. Any event that causes one’s body to automatically ready itself in defense against a hostile, threatening, or challenging event is a stress-initiating event. When such a state of alarm begins, our bodies produce vast amounts of adrenaline, which surges through our nervous system and disrupts the normal function of our body. For example, the heart may beat faster, digestion speeds up, and numerous hormones are released into the bloodstream. All of these physiological events are designed to prepare the body to handle the emergency. The down side is that your body cannot withstand existing in such an ongoing state of emergency; you will ultimately break down both physically and mentally. In fact, because adrenaline causes your body systems to function at a high speed, deterioration or aging at a cellular level actually occurs at a much quicker rate.

Adrenaline

Conversely, an elevated adrenaline level can give a person an increased sense of well-being, more energy, reduce the need for sleep, and bring about feelings of happiness. Because we actually feel good, we do not realize that this sensation is causing physical damage. An example of this is seen today in so called “thrill seekers” who sky dive, bungee jump and participate in extreme sports. One can actually become addicted to this state of excitement; a very dangerous addiction because the false sense of well-being is actually causing irrevocable harm.

In the most extreme cases, where one exists in a constant state of arousal for an extended period of time and the level of adrenaline remains very high; a condition known as "hypoadrenia" or adrenal fatigue can set in. In this case, the adrenal cortex or outer layer of the adrenal gland becomes enlarged, important lymph nodes shrink, and the stomach and intestines become irritated. Eventually, the individual will crash and suffer from a state of prolonged and severe fatigue.


When you are in the grip of depression and anxiety, it can feel like the misery will never end, that you will never recover, but people do recover. You just need to find the right treatment.” Or God’s intervention.

In 2009 Cipralex is the most effect antidepressant accompanied by little side effects. Escitalopram belongs to the group of medications called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. It’s used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder; it works by increasing levels of a neurotransmitter called serotonin in the brain. Increased serotonin levels can lead to an improved mood.
The medication usually begins to work within 2 to 4 weeks. However, it may take several weeks of treatment before the full effects.


Understanding Depression and Anxiety

Although either depression or anxiety can be a disabling condition on its own, the combination can be extraordinarily difficult. “If you’re already depressed, anxiety is a multiplier of suffering, depression can make feel people profoundly discouraged, helpless, and hopeless. Anxiety can make them agitated and besieged by physical symptoms -- a pounding heart, tightness in the chest, and difficulty breathing, their minds are also racing, they can’t concentrate, they can’t sit still. It’s a very violent combination.”

Good candidates for depression

People with high expectations, especially expectations that cannot be met, are good candidates for depression. Many famous people have suffered from depression including Sir Winston Churchill, Tennessee Williams, Mickey Mantle, Mahatma Gandhi (who suffered deep feelings of depression and considered taking his life), Abraham Lincoln, and Handel, who wrote the renowned, "Messiah". After having experienced deep depression, Handel was guided by the Holy Spirit to write his complete opera in 21 days. Several outstanding Christian leaders also struggled with depression including John Calvin, Martin Luther and John Wesley. Finally, even Biblical personalities such as Job, Elisha, Kind David and King Solomon and even Jesus before he was crucified experienced the effects of depression. The following Biblical passage describes Job’s experience with depression.

Job 33:19: Or a man may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress in his bones, so that his very being finds food repulsive. And his soul loathes the choicest meal. His flesh wastes away to nothing, and his bones, once hidden, now stick out. His soul draws near to the pit, and his life to the messengers of death.

2nd Corinthians 1:8-9: For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about the suffering we experienced in Asia. We were so crushed beyond our ability to endure that we even despaired of living. In fact, we felt within ourselves that we had received the sentence of death, so that we would not rely on ourselves but on the God, who raises the dead.

The two people that supported me through my illness were my mother and Junette, my wife. My negativity and despair were so great that it took a superhuman effort to tolerate me for long. My mother, on several occasions, reached a point of almost total exhaustion. Junette, however, was almost a constant companion. At my business, because I was feeling so negative, I told my bookkeepers that the bank could call the company's loan at any time. I felt I knew the day of the week and time of the day that the receivers would arrive. Even though this was a misconception, I convinced the bookkeepers and, except for one service person, all my employees left. I interviewed and hired more people although I was ill ( the next time I am going to shut my mouth, this is not fun).

My beloved mother used to take me for walks even though I felt like dying, and I didn't want to get out of bed. She would take me for walks right around the little area where we lived. Sometimes I felt so suicidal that I would wait until everyone went to sleep and then go downstairs into the garage, start the car, pull up a chair, and just sit there. It seemed as if I sat there for hours; I don't know what happened or why nothing happened. I felt as if I were going to pass out but really, deep inside I didn't want to die.

During my depression, common sense told me that although physically I wanted to rest and forget about my business, I could not afford myself that luxury. I would have made crucial business mistakes and compounded my problems. It would have taken years to rebuild my finances. My mother discussed business problems with me and gave me feedback concerning my employees, financing, and the possibility of foreclosure. Mother helped me decide which of my concerns was unfounded and which ones needed to be addressed.


Suicidal

On a certain visit to the psychiatrist, I was at my lowest ebb. I revealed to him my innermost feelings of suicide and the plans, I was considering to bring about my end. This alarmed him and he immediately called the head of the psychiatric ward at the hospital. My doctor advised him that I should be admitted for electro shock treatments. I had researched electro shock therapy and knew that, while in some cases it has been effective, the drawback is that sometimes memory is destroyed. I considered giving up my memory for release.

When I arrived at the hospital, I found the psychiatric ward so gloomy that my mind flashed to movie scenes of people trapped in such wards for many years. I pulled myself together quickly to deceive the doctor and have him believe that I was not as ill as I was. To my relief, I was not admitted.

While trying to come up with effective ways to do away with myself, I began to pry information from my psychiatrist. I asked him what other people in my situation did. He gave me some information but none of the methods he mentioned were innovative enough for me.

I tuned into a TV story about an anchorwoman who had helped her mother to end her life. She had assisted her mother, who had terminal cancer, to commit suicide. This woman wrote a book called Last Wish. In her book, she gave information obtained from a European doctor, naming the drug that was used and explaining how it was to be administered. I ordered the book, which took two weeks to arrive. On the next visit to my doctor, I told him that the medication he was giving me was no longer effective, and that I had heard of a drug called, (I can't tell you, sorry). He asked who had told me about this drug as it had been banned in Canada. My plan to find an easy way out failed.

I owned a .22. Caliber rifle so I decided to see how effective this rifle could be. I shot into the phone book, examined it, and took some rough measurements. I concluded that there was a good possibility this bullet would stick in my brain, and I was going to flutter there like a half-dead chicken on the floor. Since I wasn't very fond of that idea I decided that a much more powerful gun would do the job, maybe a Magnum 44 was necessary to complete the job.

In spite of my deep depression, I pulled myself together and continued dressing to portray the image of the well-turned-out businessperson I had been a few months ago. At the police station, I applied for a license for a revolver, filled out all the forms, and fulfilled the requirement to join a rifle club. Ten days later, I received a license to own a gun.

I remember going to a gun shop and looking at a selection of revolvers. Some were decorated with chrome and were quite attractive. On that day, I had not yet resolved to end my life; however, I wanted the means to do so if the time came when I could no longer bear to live. I thought that owning a gun would be the assurance that I could escape the dark clouds of despondency if I needed to.

It was not cowardice that inspired my suicidal thoughts; my company made a handsome profit that year and other aspects of my life were in order. The chemical imbalance in my brain caused such a strong mood of despair that suicide seemed like my only option. Of course, being incapable of thinking in a normal fashion and experiencing a tremendous fatigue, fear, and despair makes it extremely painful just to be awake.

Even though I was fatigued and ill, I did not have the luxury of staying home. I would alternate between rest and going to work for a few hours.

I watched a video called "Beyond and Back" in which someone performed a scientific study of near-death experiences and of people who had died. In the video, the testimonies of those people who knew God on their deathbeds were always cheerful. In many cases, they saw glimpses of heaven or of angels. Most died smiling. People who had attempted suicide, however, experienced the opposite.

I was told stories of two other Winnipeg businessmen who had experiences similar to mine. These testimonies and their stories of successful recoveries gave me hope. One of these men had lost his printing business and experienced a deep depression. The Lord directed him back to the printing industry where he once again became successful. The second was a Mennonite minister who had been through two depressions. He invited me to come to his church where he spent at least two hours with me on several occasions. This pastor was the only person who had the courage and compassion to tell me of his experiences with depression. I am grateful for his testimony and for the encouragement he gave me.

One night when I was in the garage with my car's engine running, my mother opened the door and came in. She said Edward what are you doing you want to go to Hell? and then invited me next door to her kitchen. She told me a story of a young man who had died and gone to hell. As he was in this terrible place, he tried to get a message back to his loved ones to tell them not to join him. As my mother related the story, a picture formed in my mind of the young man in an abandoned rocky area with flames and lava, tears running down his cheeks and with his hands outstretched. After hearing this story, I did not want to go to hell.

I attended church and sought the prayer and fellowship of Christians. Still, I thought I was dying, and I felt worthless. I really thought that I was going to die. I put my insurance policies in order in case I should carry through with the plan to take my life. Some days I felt that I couldn't go on. I was so beat, so tired that I couldn't go on any more.

If someone tells you that they're going to take their life, please don't treat them as a coward, or as though they were evil. Instead, give them your encouragement, support to work through their depression, and enjoy life again. To the ears of a depressed person, "Tighten your belt and pull up your socks," will sound cruel because there is little they can do to help themselves. Often, friends turn away from a person who is deeply depressed. A “tough love” response can often increase the chance of suicide, whereas with the love and support of friends and relatives, the individual has a much greater chance of overcoming their depression.

As an inventor I had discovered a mystery that no one talks about, If ever get out of this, I am going to tell the world. I was never one that hid anything, I was always bold and out spoken, even to the point that I never hid the fact that I was committing adultery, I even tried to have the two daughters that was born of it intermingle with my boys, and told my wife everything even assuring her that I would never leave her. I know what you are thinking, this guy is nuts yes, I was arrogant and did not care a can of beans what you taught, I have been hurt all of my life, I am a successful Inventor and an employer when I needed help no one was there for me, mind your own business. Maybe I was arrogant but never a dishonest hypocrite. Nevertheless, I was about to bend my knees to the King of Kings.

You may have heard of someone who has lost a loved one and not long afterwords they themselves pass away the cause of death was the enormous stress of grieving so painful and devastating that the result was death, when they say that soldiers are suffering from “post dramatic stress” you would believe that it meant some special condition, my friends it’s “the big D” they are going through shear torture.

Most of these people do not make their pain public but instead remain in their rooms with their curtains pulled, mentally trying to bring back their loved one to life. The pain of depression feels like grief. It is easier to have half your bones broken than to cope with a deep depression.

Trying to Turn Back the Clock

About a month before becoming depressed, I began to feel fatigued. I had started a window company called, "The Energy Doctor" which brought in excellent cash flow. Because the product was not yet perfected, there were many dissatisfied customers and warranty claims. My bank manager had recently commented that "The Energy Doctor" was proving rather lucrative. I felt I made a wise business decision when I decided to sell this company at a slight profit. Shortly afterward, I perceived the sale of this business as a dreadful mistake. I thought that the bank manager would soon realize that my cash flow had decreased and subsequently call the loan. For several months, I spent a tremendous amount of energy trying mentally to turn back the clock and undo the sale.

The same thing happens when a parent has neglected a child whom, for example, runs into the road and is killed by traffic. The parent spends energy trying to turn back the clock. This stress fuels' depression.

Depression is a result of external pressure and weighing down, change the way you think, and you will change the way you feel.

Through my experience, I learned what should be done to treat depression, which results from mental burnout:

Step One

Reach out to God with a contrite heart. Call on Him out of the depths of your despair. Ask for His help. This begins the process of divine intervention.

Jeremiah 29:11-13: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

You must be born again.

John 10:1-18: I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice. Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.

Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. Therefore, when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me but I lay it down on my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my father.


Step Two

Believe God's promises. Claiming His promises is the second step in dealing with depression.

Philippians 4:6: Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Luke 12:24: - "Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?"

II Timothy 1:7: - "For God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and a sound mind."

James 4:7: - "Submit yourselves to God; resist the Devil and he will flee from you."

Proverbs 3:5: - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path."

Philippians 4:7: - "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Hebrews 13:5-6: “Let your way of life be without the love of money, and be content with such things as you have, for He has said, "Not at all will I leave you, not at all will I forsake you, never!" so that we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do.

1John 4:18: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love.

If you believe in God and you know that He is real, then cast all your cares on Him and He will give you mental rest.

Step Three

Find a church that has good worship and praise. As you begin to praise God from your heart, the clouds will lift, if only temporarily.

Step Four

Because of the chemical imbalance in the brain, medication may be necessary. Seek a psychiatrist who will be able to assess your individual medical needs.

Step Five

Exercise; make a simple schedule that would not be too difficult to keep. Set aside a specific time for a good walk.

Step Six

With the help of a close friend, relative, or qualified counselor make a summary of your present situation. Draw a line down the middle of a page. On one side list the negative aspects of your situation and on the other, your blessings.

Step Seven

As Christians, we need the gift of the Holy Spirit to empower us to raise us up above the circumstances of this world and to bring us closer to God. The Holy Spirit helps us to understand scripture, resist temptation, increases our faith and gives us joy and happiness even while we are on this imperfect earth. Only by reading the Bible will you be able to increase your faith in God. I would advise reading one to three chapters a day, beginning with Psalms 1, reading through to the end of Revelations, and then from Genesis. Read at a speed that enables you to absorb and understand the message and, if necessary, read another, more amplified translation of the Bible.

Step Eight

Philippians 4:8: – The Apostle Paul says that we are to fill our minds with pure, good and noble thoughts to be on guard against the worlds assaults on the purity of your thoughts. As you fill you mind with what is good, your words and actions will follow suit.

Watch over your heart John 14:1: Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me.

What we choice to believe, Mark 11:23: For truly I say to you that whoever shall say to this mountain, Be moved and be cast into the sea, and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that what he said shall occur, he shall have whatever he said.

Speak to your problem, not about it, James 1:2: My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into different kinds of temptations, knowing that the trying of your faith works patience.
But let patience have its perfect work, so that you may be perfect and entire, lacking nothing.

No one can take your peace from you, you have to give it away, James 1:12: blessed is the man who endures temptation, because having been approved; he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Deuteronomy 8:2: And you shall remember all the way which Jehovah your God led you these forty years in the wilderness in order to humble you, to prove you, to know what is in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.

Resist the temptation to give in move forward, keep saying its only a test God is taking me to a higher level, Mark 14:33: And He said to them, My soul is exceedingly sorrowful to death. Stay here and watch. And He went forward a little and fell on the ground. Moreover, He prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him.

Pray and Praise, Mark 14:38: Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. Truly, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

In order to fight and overcome the feelings of despair, you have to focus and submit to the things of God. Looking at television programs, which are sexual or demonic, will result in you losing your focus. Also, associate with people that genuinely care for you. Keep away from people who would say, "Pull up your socks. God is punishing you because you must have done some terrible thing."

During my own crisis, I could not afford the luxury of taking a leave of absence from my business. I knew that if I neglected business and made wrong decisions; it would take me years after my ordeal to re-build. I needed someone whom I could trust to help me to think. At that time, my brain could be compared to a 6-cylinder car working on only three cylinders, trying to climb a steep hill. The strain on the parts of the engine, which are still operating well, would be unbalanced because the engine itself was not working to full capacity. Having someone with fully functioning "car" helping to pull your vehicle up the hill, is a perfect metaphor for the kind of help I needed. In a depression, situations will look worse than they really are. Do not make any major decisions. If you have lost a business, start working slowly towards starting a new one.

In the movie, "What About Bob?” the title character’s recovery from depression came slowly. He took "little baby steps...one little baby step at a time." As you work towards a new career or new companion, you will find that as the days and the months go by, the little light at the end of the tunnel will get bigger and bigger until the blackness will no longer be there. As time passes, bad memories will fade and new experiences and relationships will bring forth a kind of rebirth. And it will pass!

Isaiah 40:39: Wait, I say on the Lord.

You have to wait on the Lord and rest in Him. He will do it in His own time, not in yours.

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Edward Lee
www.edwardleeonline.biz