Ernie Pinard-I want to help you's Blog (8)

COOL DUDE An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure,… Continue

Want To Have A Good Day? Here are 10 Rules For A Good Day TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK: If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...I will not respond in a like manner. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY": If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY: I will carefully choo… Continue

Dumb Questions from Lawyers The following questions by lawyers were taken from actual court documents in America: * "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" * "Now doctor, is it not true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?" * Q: "What happened then?" A: "He told me, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.'" Q: "And did he kill you?" * "Was it you or your brother that was… Continue

A person on my team shared this with me this morning and I though it was worth sharing with all of you. Enjoy Your Day!! I TRIED TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN TODAY. I tried to climb the mountain today. As I inched my way up the path, I felt overwhelmed, so I had to turn back. I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall, and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place. I was ready to climb the mountain today. But it was so hot outside, I thought I better… Continue

Jesus is Watching You Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He a… Continue

This was written by a friend of mine I thought I would share with all my other friends. Lessons Learned From a Child and Her Dog So teach him to close the door", my daughter Emma responded after listening to me complain, again, about the dog coming in from the back door, bringing with him a blast of Buffalo January cold air. Teach a dog to close a door behind him? You got to be kidding. That has got to be a really, really hard thing to do, and I do not have any dog credentials following my na… Continue

Do you have A. A. A. D. D.? I have recently been diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. (Advanced Absentminded Attention Deficit Disorder) This is how it goes: I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and notice the trashcan is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to… Continue

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would Love to spend some time with you." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well… Continue