Are you succeeding in your online business and losing your life?

Are you succeeding in your online business and losing your life?

Are you…
• writing a daily blog and creating a following?
• responding to all your emails?
• creating and joining online groups?
• offering and attending teleseminars and webinars?
• travelling to social business building events?
• building your lists and updating your automatic responses?
• creating a regularly published newsletter?
• submitting articles to online article sites?
• writing and publishing books and ebooks?
• mentoring your followers and downlines?
• offering live seminars?
• seeking joint ventures and affiliate marketing opportunities?
• stayng up late and waking up early to get all your tasks done?
• writing lists and crossing off items as you complete them?
• thinking and talking about your business all the time?

If you have answered “Yes” to several of these questions, you are on your way to becoming a social business network workaholic. Hopefully, with all that time and attention and hard work, your business is now booming. But what is happening to the rest of your life?

If you are married or living with a significant other, have you ignored your partner’s requests for attention, affection and quality time together? If you have children too, have they been clinging to you or avoiding you when you tell them not to disturb you while you work a little bit more?

If you are single, have you dated anyone lately or have you just put your entire social life on hold? Do you cut your phone conversations short and only arrange for brief social contacts before getting back to your computer? And, to me one of the worst offenses, do you find yourself talking on your cell phone, texting or reading your emails – while you are sitting in a restaurant or at a social event with a date or your current life partner?

In this 21st century, and now even more so during this economic downturn, many of us are spending more time focused on business and less time smelling the roses, enjoying companionship, or relaxing with our loved ones. And this is taking a toll on our relationships. If you have been expecting your partner to be supportive, to understand what you are attempting to accomplish, and to be there when you feel you have reached your goals, think again. Workaholism and lack of nurturing in a relationship will almost inevitably lead to relationship disaster.

Yes, of course, for a certain period of time at the early stages of building a business, you may have to spend a great deal of your time and energy focused solely on the details of your business. However, as soon as you get a slight breather, as soon as you have a spare moment, put your focus and attention back onto those you love, those with whom you hope to share you business success.

Don’t become another statistic of someone who has succeeded in business, but lost their family and friends and life, in the process.

For a personal consultation, contact DrErica at http://www.budurl.com/Wellness or at http://www.budurl.com/Reawakening. Right now, you can discover how well you are balancing the many aspecrs of your own life. Take the Create Healing and Love Now Personal Assessment and receive your customized free report at http://www.budurl.com/Createloveheal. Keep your eyes open for the Create Healing and Love Now Seminars, coming to South Florida in July 2009, to personally assist you to balance all the areas of your life as you heal and create more love.

Share This Page

Add a Comment

You need to be a member of StartUp to add comments!

Join this Ning Network

Comment by Carolyn Sue Harper on June 30, 2009 at 1:49pm: As a first year real estate agent, I've really had a blast but it's not a career that fits into an hourly or weekly schedule.

Comment by RJ Goodman on June 30, 2009 at 1:42pm: So I'm reading through the post and thinking "hmm, I should probably be doing more of those things." Spot on and definately food for thought. Thank you.

Comment by Janene Satterfield on June 30, 2009 at 1:34pm: I think I'm doing right the opposite - my family/social life is booming to the detriment of my business. I'm praying for the balance that leads to a well-rounded successful LIFE!

Comment by M. Rita Metts on June 30, 2009 at 1:04pm: I agree with the post and other comments. At least once a week I am invited to join another social networking site. I really appreciate the offer, but I get overwhelmed just keeping up with the few that I am a part of now.

Comment by Robert Sloan on June 30, 2009 at 12:43pm: Interesting. I think I've got a pretty good balance even if several of those things are on my menu -- the ones that aren't the worst time sinks.

I do blog daily, sometimes more than once, with daily art.
I keep up my email more or less, sometimes delete some coupon ads I signed up for and some lists I joined that aren't relevant at the moment. I don't need Tiger Direct every month but I like getting the sale ads because when I do need a computer or peripheral, I'll want to catch one of the coupons for it. That's how I lucked on my netbook just as my laptop wobbled.
I participate in several online groups actively, others less often than daily.
I post articles to online sites fairly often.
I've just gotten back to doing an article a day on my own site for the past two days.
I took one online webinar from a publisher that I'm interested in writing for, one that may pay off big time if I can sell them a book since they're a pro level publisher with major distribution and large advances. Good article payments too. But I don't do this all the time, that one turned out to be very specific and focused on something that was already one of my goals.

However, most days I also spend at least a half hour with my granddaughter watching Walking with Dinosaurs, more often an hour or two. Sometimes I let her paint or we draw together. I spend time with my family offline when they're not busy -- especially my daughter when she's home, she works pretty long hours so when she's available that takes priority.

I don't use the phone at all. I really do not like getting interrupted by phone calls, so the only person who really has my number is my daughter so that she can call once in a blue moon for something like "Dad, I'm getting the afternoon off, want to go to Mt. Petit Jean?" Or just to find out if I need something when she's at the store.

I'm nearly housebound, though I've been trying to get out of the house once a week. Not holding down a regular job while trying to do this is a big part of why my time isn't so crunched that I've got no life. My love life isn't going to exist unless I can get stronger and get out to socialize more in offline art groups, but I've got a line on one local group that might be fun and this climate's much easier on my arthritis.

I didn't actually have a life to start with, because I was so sick. So I'd say this is an overall improvement.

The points you make are very good ones. It's not whether you do some of the things on that list. It's whether you try to do all of them every single day, that'll be the life-drowner.

Big projects like creating a book or an ebook, or a live seminar, these are things that don't need to be done overnight. The preparation for them and the pacing of the writing can be done in a way that also gives you time to plant the roses and commiserate a young girl's first fall off a horse. She honorably earned a black eye and a scratch on her forehead and still loves the horse.

I know if I do date again, I'll be looking at other artists and writers -- people who understand that I need time alone and time to create. The balance has to be kept in both directions or you won't actually have a career. One thing to watch for within relationships is the amount of time spent arguing.

That is the biggest time sink in any relationship I've seen. I think back and a lot of the times I was involved, I'd wind up spending more time in marital arguing than at work or doing anything else. Sometimes it'd go round the clock with nothing resolved. So learning good conflict resolution skills and ways to negotiate effective compromise are darn important to building a good relationship.

Don't waste the time you do spend with your loved ones, actually enjoy their company for who they are and be there when you are. Taking a business call on a date is not only likely to ruin the date, but if you are living together or married this can also destroy the following day or three as your partner decides to take priority whatever else is going on. Even if the rent is at risk. A little prevention helps.

If you are spending way too much time at work, look at what's actually going on at home and ask whether you're avoiding fighting by spending too much time at work. I fell into that pattern for way too many years and the relationship was already a goner. One big reason it lasted was that I was out so long for so many days that my ex got some peace during the workweek.

Also beware sleep deprivation, that can jack up both the business and your home life pretty bad if you try to close the gap by not sleeping. No one's got good judgment when they're sleep deprived.

I guess that about covers all my additional comments. You raise a major good point -- but if the thought of not spending that time at work and going home instead makes you nervous or depressed, it's time to either seek counseling or consider finding a better date.

Comment by Catherine Mascrès on June 30, 2009 at 12:20pm: balance and harmony. Thank you for the post. Ami. Cath

Comment by Marie-anne Rouse on June 30, 2009 at 12:05pm: I was a workaholic until I shut down my brick-and-mortar business to focus only on my online business www.MomIsTheBest.com and by doing so I am able to spend more time with my family. Two of my kids even got to do something they've been asking for years. Something very simple, I just never had the time! They both got to audition and got parts in our local production of Alice In Wonderland Jr. The family time/balance was missing before. Now we have it.

Comment by Eric Tompkins on June 30, 2009 at 11:58am: This is an interesting topic and one that is incredibly relevant, especially with the market being as challenging as it is. One of the key questions that business owners have to start asking themselves is "will and extra two or three hours in my work day give me a substantial return on investment". Typically that answer is no. In fact, studies have shown that after a 10 hour work day, we actually become less productive, and our productivity through the remainder of the week declines as well.

One of the keys to being successful in both career and home, is not just balance, but keeping sight of what all the work is for. I work for my wife and two daughters. I want them to have everything they need, and much of what they want. The more time I spend with them, the better I understand what I'm fighting and working for, and the more efficient and focused I become. I don't WANT to work, I NEED to work. I want to spend time with my family, which is what I keep at the forefront of my mind.

Comment by Konrad Fischer on June 30, 2009 at 11:54am: And the best is, most of the mentioned biz activities do normally consume yrs of time and will not have any positive impact on your income. My advice: Proof the results and shut down the not working activities. Enjoy the free time with your beloved people/familiy/friends. Don't believe all the good recommendations belonging to social networking if there is interest in your activity and money behind.

Konrad Fischer
Happily married since 20 yrs, 4 childrens and workaholic too

Comment by RJ Medak on June 30, 2009 at 11:43am: Good advice. I have set aside Saturday as movie day with my wife, and I also do not take my business over living. I do love what I do, so it really isn't work.