Do you think Self Esteem Plays a Role in Success?

I wanted to share some insights from one of the audio lessons from a tremendous new mentor and mastermind for me named Bill Bartmann "The Billionaire Business Coach". He is the only self made Billionaire with a B who has exclusively devoted his life to teaching others. With that kind of a resume, I thought it would be worthwhile to listen to what he has to say on my iLearningGlobal audio library. He also has some great HD video's as well. I absolutely love his teaching style as well as his content is amazing and extremely insightful! Bill is only one of the many "rich" resources within iLearningGlobal (ILG). For today's post and wanted to share with you some of my insights on his lesson on self esteem and how that effects how we process information and how that relates to some other great lessons from by dear friend Bela and her tremendous book "A Bella Life" and of course the "The Go-Giver " by Bob Burg and John David Mann.

First, let's look at the "4 Laws of Self Esteem": as related by Bill Bartmann

1. There is a principle of survival
2. The subconscious mind is stronger than the conscious mind.
3. Our subconscious will not let us do something it thinks we are incapable of doing.
4. Our subconscious will either help us or hinder us based on the information it retrieves.

The next law I'd like to share is from "The Go-Giver". The 4th Law of Stratospheric Success is the Law of Authenticity: "The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself."

Finally I'd like to share a truly inspiring quote from Bela's book, "A Bella Life."

"Think about a dark room. The minute any little bit of light is brought in, the room is no longer dark - the light overpowers the darkness. I want you to choose light, not darkness. I want the beautiful pure light within all of us to spread through the universe creating an abundance of love, happiness, kindness, and peace for all - creating a bright bella life for everyone!"

I'm blessed to have each of these tremendous people in my life as a mentor and feel like I "know" them all either through facebook, phone discussions or the power of ILG. It struck me that the common thread between all of these is our emotional personal intention and how that relates to what it directs our subconscious mind to think and therefore do. Have you ever heard a song on the radio and instantly you're transported back in time to an event that you had linked this song with or "assigned" a memory to it? Its very powerful! It could have been 20 years ago and yet in that moment, you are instantly engulfed in that moment again...you remember what you were wearing, the scent of his or her perfume/cologne, the emotions that you felt...good or bad. I know I have several songs like that for me.

Then it hit me after listening to Bill's lesson, I remember these things so vividly because I first chose to assign a meaning to it for the good or bad..(light or dark). I then allowed this raw emotion of what I believe to be my true authentic self to add power to the meaning of this event. Ultimately as a result of this "emotional programming", my subconscious mind takes over and tells me how to interpret future events based on its immediate retrieval of this assigned emotional meaning.

Even if an event occurs that is one that you'd normally interpret as negative, if your positive intention is emotionally authentic , even though you don't necessarily "feel" it, eventually your subconscious will accept it as "true" for the ultimate good because that's how you've reprogrammed it to be. Ever hear the quote "Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right?" I know this to be true more than ever! Whew, that's deep! Being the Pisces that I am, I'm very in touch with my emotions. I've been pondering how do I use this insight for my ultimate good and growth and positive impact on others. Here's what I've concluded with this end goal in mind: If I want to continually grow and advance, I must purposefully choose to assign a positive emotional meaning to each event so that I can be sure that the programming being sent to my subconscious mind will result in the desired answer/action I'm looking for. ..or as in the words of Obama, "Yes we can!!!" There is definitely something to that :)

I encourage us all to pay more attention to the messages that we allow ourselves to accept as true and what meaning we choose to assign to them and how that in turn determines what we believe is our ultimate power to accomplish what our mind conceives. We can't accomplish "big" things if we don't allow ourselves to think big! Now that's powerful!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Eleanor Roosevelt

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Tags: esteem, self, amy, authenticity, bela, bella, bob, burg, giver, go

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Comment by Mary Tan-Hooper on June 24, 2009 at 10:57pm: Yes, having self-esteem is definitely plays a very important role in success. From my experience and observation, being a mother of two and an entrepeneur I have learnt how important it is to have self-esteem. Life is not black or white but grey most of the time. One of the best gifts a parent or anyone can give to someone is "self-esteem". Without it the hurdles become higher and more difficult. It is not just for business success but the fundamental in all areas of life.

Comment by Jheney L Puia on June 24, 2009 at 10:44pm: It is really encouraging message, let God bless you abundantly and so that you can wake up many people who need advise,

Comment by Robert Sloan on June 24, 2009 at 10:03pm: Self esteem is contextual. It matters a lot where you live and who you spend time with. If you're constantly criticized then your subconscious is going to internalize those critical statements even when they are completely untrue.

I think sometimes the unconscious sizes up social risks involved in certain things.

I know this "if you think you can't, then you can't, if you think you can, then you can" only goes so far. It can be devastating if you are physically disabled and continue to do things that have ruinous health consequences because you think you can do them because "anyone" can do them. It helps a lot to live in reality as it is. Then it may be possible to find other ways to do what you want and get what you want, sizing things up based on what's really going on rather than either wishful thinking or seeing what others can do.

I have always been able to do things that other people find difficult, without much trouble. Sometimes with no trouble at all because I enjoy the process so much that the effort is just another source of joy. Novelwriting is a good example of this -- something that seemed almost impossible before I learned how to do it became a pure joy and a huge mental vacation every time I do it now.

It also led me to look at people in a way a bit different from doctors or from teachers or therapists or anyone else. I wind up observing mostly to come up with details for stories, to see what types of things will ring true in a character when I'm making a point with a story.

What I found was the best foundation for self esteem is skill -- it's enough practice to prove to yourself that you really are good at something you wanted to do. Accepting that as a beginner, something you want is going to be a lot more difficult than it is for people who are used to doing it and that your results might be ghastly for a while, then measuring your success by improvement rather than expecting zero-to-genius results is a way anyone can break that psychological-social wall of inhibition.

It also helps to examine what you want and why -- to see if what you want is going to be yours for doing the thing you think will get it for you. There are many pitfalls. If you go against what you yourself believe to be right, then you're shooting yourself in the foot on your way to success because it'll eat at you what you did to get it. The unconscious can also hold morality and those issues come back later to bite a number of people.

It gets worse because unless you live in an Amish community or a small tribe, the people around you probably don't share your ideas of what's right and good. They're going off in a thousand other directions, do things you think of as evil without batting an eyelash but get shocked at something harmless you enjoy and think of it as disgusting.

So it helps to find a context where your desires and goals are socially acceptable to those around you -- where they're shared and they're understandable especially to those closest in your life. The opinions of loved ones carry a lot of weight. Your unconscious is weighing those emotional losses too in the scheme of everything, it can sometimes be wise.

But if you understand that, then you can openly face the separate diplomatic question of communicating your goals positively to your family and gaining their support, distinguish that from the internal question of finding a path that's right for exactly who you are -- your ideas of right and wrong along with what you genuinely enjoy doing every day and are suited to by personality.

I'm a writer and an artist. I've necessarily got a bit of a showoff streak, it's fun, to me it's one of the perks of doing a creative profession. Yet I have known many people who would think of that showing off as something wrong, shameful, horrible even -- the theme came up constantly among people who discouraged me from writing while at the same time they encouraged my visual art. The difference was that they didn't like my stories and did like my pictures.

Which is just an entertainment choice -- those people are not my readers, so I'm not writing for them. It matters much more if my stories please the people who like their slant and subject matter, if science fiction and fantasy readers find them to be good fables with fun plots and interesting questions raised.

Expecting to agree with everyone is a huge Achilles heel to any self esteem work, because an individual is not a democracy. You are in charge of one person in your life: yourself. That has to be a dictatorship, you are the person ultimately responsible for your choices and you are also the one who has to live with all the consequences of bad compromises and crushed dreams.

So it helps most to distinguish what's internal and what's external.

Another thing I noticed -- negative comments get taken far more seriously than positive. A person can get nine people going "Hey, this is great! I am happy for you." But one person goes "You egotistic showoff, you can't write your way out of a paper bag " and it knocks out all confidence. The fear of criticism can't be a driving force in a healthy life because then you're a slave to the masses -- and to every jealous, malicious, vindictive person who feels like ruining someone's day just because they can. Which is all too common a reaction from those who are poisoned by their own broken dreams.

Understanding the line between self and other, holding that boundary can help a lot to build and maintain self esteem. It also helps to be realistic in expectations -- beginners do sometimes get early serendipitous wonderful results, but continuing to study and practice makes those happy moments become trusted, predictable skills that can grow lifelong.

Comment by 226-N'neka on June 24, 2009 at 9:47pm: I do think self esteem plays a role in success. Positive self esteem and thoughts will yield you positive results, as the same goes with negative thoughts, actions, words etc. Self esteem is not the only factor in success. You can be broke and be successful. Having a big title or unlimited dollars don't signify success..extra stress maybe,nor buy you happiness, good health or a peaceful nights sleep. Success comes from having a plan and working hard. Peace of mind is the ultimate success in life.

Comment by Joe Huguenard on June 24, 2009 at 8:05pm: Thanks Amy,

Definitely, self-esteem is a MUST if we ever want to achieve anything great in life. The biggest reason being... to succeed with ANYTHING worthwhile in life, you must be able to help, serve and build others and the only way to do that effectively...with the passion and leadership necessary, is to first seek to build ourselves so that others will be drawn to us and accept that leadership.

Without self-esteem, others will not be drawn to you or be willing to follow anything you recommend or direct them to do.

Joe Huguenard

Comment by Lisa Stadtmueller on June 24, 2009 at 7:54pm: Self esteem is nice but a really powerful thing is to pray and let God or the universe make things happen the way they're meant to me. You may want to be a violinist in a symphony but God might have made you tone deaf but with a special touch w/kids or animals. Following your heart but using the gifts you have been given is the surest way to success, and once you are doing what you are supposed to be doing the good feelings that come from within will create self esteem.

Comment by Lori Loveday on June 24, 2009 at 7:34pm: Without it we couldn't take the "Nos", the phone hang ups, the "No-shows", the rudeness, the quitters, family, and the "I know someone who tried that and it didn't work", people. That's why everyone has to find something that's bigger than self-esteem. Like "the dream", family, mentor, or any other reason we've all had to keep going when we want to quit.

Comment by Tanya Hay Ziegler on June 24, 2009 at 7:22pm: Self esteem is not only important to success, but it is the only way it happens! The KEY to it is knowing it's not an option, reaffirming for yourself every day that you ARE the best at what you're doing, that you WILL fully live your dreams WHEN the level of success you envision comes to fruition & most importantly - that you DESERVE all that the Universe is about to gift you with!

It's more than esteem or confidence, it's more than "positive thinking"... it's simply believing it - and your body will live it!

Comment by Gail Gladstone on June 24, 2009 at 7:16pm: If you do not exude self esteem, you will not find clients who will want to work with you; if you don't believe in yourself, why should anyone else?

Comment by Dr. Erica Goodstone on June 24, 2009 at 7:16pm: Amy, Thanks for all those reminders of how powerful our thoughts are and how we can continue to help and support each other to say, "Yes I Can."