One of the things I appreciate most about getting older is learning to relax and allow life to happen. When you’re young everything seems to be an emergency, a tragedy or a disaster. Young people are in constant struggle mode. All events become mountains. But when you get older, the challenges of life are like bumps in the road and the solutions are expected to be just over the horizon.
Recently, the subject of using one’s expertise to form a monetized business has been very prevalent in many of the social network sites to which I belong. The writers of those blogs and articles have turned their skill of giving advice into businesses of encouraging others to do the same. They are calling themselves coaches or consultants. As I have lived for 67 years and find myself safely on the other side of many of life’s challenges, perhaps my experiences have become my expertise.
I tell my special someone all the time that when I make my final transition this time, I will not be coming back as there is not too much of life I haven’t already lived through. So whether I make money or not by sharing my experiences, I feel that the matters of life I learned will be of benefit to someone, and I welcome the chance to share them.
Prior to becoming a blogger, I decided to make recordings for my children and grandchildren about things I felt they might need to help on their journeys. These tidbits of “wisdom” were paid for with many tears, sleepless nights, confusion and faulty decisions. But there were also flashes of pure joy, pleasure, fun, laughter, satisfaction and love. To say the good outweighed or outnumbered the bad is one of the reasons I am still standing and happy today. So the first and most important “fully-lived” matters of life aspect, barring extreme physical or mental disability, is the balance of experiences.
Another very important matter of life is that time takes care of many things. Time must always be weighed whether things are going good or bad, as everything is temporary…and I do mean everything! Taking time into consideration, we should be totally engaged in enjoying life’s good times, and detached when involved in the bad.
Detaching yourself from a negative situation does not mean to neglect your duty or give up. Detaching means to take responsibility for the part you played, but to use the experience to learn a lesson. You should forgive yourself and any others involved, and do whatever is necessary to solve the problem. “There is nothing new under the sun,” and you are not the first or last who has made the same or worse mistake. Asking for help and responding as quickly as possible are also important steps in the process.
Remember that time will alleviate some of the pressure, but your emotional state during the course of action will determine success or failure. Others will understand and allow you to move on if the situation requires remorse and restitution, and you are willing to give both. Doing your part to fix or rebuild the relationship or problem will help you mature and become stronger when the next problems come, as they always will.
In her song, Each Tear, Mary J. Blige sings:
In each tear there’s a lesson.
Makes you wiser than before.
Makes you stronger than you know.
Each tear brings you closer to your dreams.
No mistake, no heartbreak can take away what you’re meant to be.”
In the next installment we’ll examine these factors again along with others, but remember, in matters of life, the good outweighs the bad, all things happen in time, attitude makes or breaks a situation, and the responsibility of living a good life is yours.